Move In Day, September 25

Move In Day
September 25, 2019
My thoughts the morning of moving my oldest son, Jon, into his dorm at Seattle Pacific University.

It's almost 8:30 out west and I have just finished my coffee. It's dorm move-in day and I have been sorting and gathering-- myself. I'm not all together but I'm good. I have spent the last couple hours reflecting and scrolling through my Instagram pictures from the last few years. I feel so many emotions and it's not like I imagined. It's deeper felt but not agonizing. It's hard to let go but beautiful to let him fly. In one sense, the one that I will feel the easiest, he will be missing. But, equally as real, he will be becoming. He will come into his own. It isn't the start of his journey because that started with us. It is when the journey becomes his own. This is where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. This isn't about letting go, it's about setting him free. It's one of the craziest, most beautiful moments I've had as a mom so far because the complexity of emotions is stifling and strengthening all at once. I am sure this is what a lot of parents go through when their kids leave home. This is just my first go at it. These moments are hard and most certainly, awe-inspiring. I thank God for all of it. I feel very thankful for this privilege of motherhood. I am truly thankful to be Jon's mom. This is a good day- one that I will always remember.

Some where a long the way...

Some where a long the way... I started using Facebook more than blogging.
I'm not sure it was the wisest thing because I cannot look back at all of the fun things my kids say easily. When I get my yearly reminders I see them but that's all.

I have some regret about that.

Here's a picture of the kids from January at Elsie's soccer game. I find that I am clinging to every moment now that I have a child that is going to graduate high school in May. Oddly, I am not sad.  I cannot pinpoint the feeling. I am not sad because the future is exciting. But, at the same time the change in our family unit is powerful. It's powerful but it's natural. I hope I handle it well. I savor these moments of togetherness.